What is love? Well, firstly, it's a word. A four letter word. Its meaning is responsible for the building of empires, the starting of wars, the deconstruction of teenage personality. There have been sonnets, books, songs, films, paintings, and sculptures built to the testament of love. It means something different to everybody.
Falling in love is, initially, much like getting punched in the stomach. It takes you completely off guard, and leaves you incapable of doing much of anything else. Total sensory overload. It's wonderful. Suddenly, it's like everything is right in the world, like all positive energy has aligned to fire a bolt of joyous passion into your heart. The man in love feels alive. Why? Let's first look at the mutual love route:
When two people are in love there is a bond -- a strong bond. The level of caring that each person has for the other is so strong that, in many cases, they would gladly do things that they never would consider doing for anybody else. The needs of the other get put before the needs of their own. To accompany this selflessness is the trust that the other person would return the favor. Each stands as a rock for the other. Looking into your love's eyes allows you to peer deep into their soul, to really feel like one with them. A team, complete, and ready to take on the world. It's glorious.
There is also unrequited love. It has been around for just as long and has made as large of an impact on society as the previous. For instance, the sonnet above deals with the anguish of unrequited love and the writer's desire to hold onto his feelings despite knowing that it won't yield what he has in his dreams. But isn't that what love is? Isn't part of love holding steadfast to your feelings no matter what? From reading the sonnet, I think the writer would still be willing to die for his love. This shows that the power of love has as much, in this case more, of an effect on the giver as the receiver.
Love is special in that it can attach itself to both positive and negative feelings. For instance, new love makes a person feel excited, motivated, confident while losing love can make someone feel, guilty, angry, depressed. It doesn't change the love. Love is like a well, it is the deepest of feelings. The other feelings are like the water in the well. The level may go up and down and the fluid may change -- constant fluctuation. But being that the well is made of stone it, like love, never changes; it is stronger than that.
We agree that love is wonderful, special, and powerful. Which so much potential, that must mean that love can't always be easy. It takes strength and perseverance. John Lennon said, "We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it." He really hit the nail on the head there. Love can be such a comfortable feeling that it is easy to take for granted. Love isn't a right or an expectation, love is a gift; it should be treated that way. If you handle love with respect, chances are you feel fulfilled. However, if you disrespect love, you should expect to feel its wrath.
I hope I've done an okay job thus far explaining the depth and power of love. Now I'd like to look at when we are in love. Love can't be taken lightly. It is leaps and bounds stronger than almost every other brain function. Everybody wants it, so when do we get it? Love doesn't ask questions. Love doesn't knock on your door and politely ask to come in for tea. Love breaks down your door when you are least expecting it and demands your participation. For the high school sweethearts married for 60 years, this is awesome. But what about our sonnet writer? Is it awesome for him knowing that he must live alone with these feelings? I think so. If he could erase these feelings from his head would he? I doubt it. Even though it must hurt him, he is still able to experience these feelings, deeper and stronger than any other.
We have the happily married high school sweethearts enjoying their twilight years together, and we have the sonnet author holding onto his love despite its lack of external return. Both cases steeped in fortitude. So does this mean that the middle school kids who exchange the word while holding hands in the cafeteria mean it? Probably not, but maybe. Love doesn't know age limits. Still it's always bothered me that people throw around the word. I don't think it's fair to love. You don't love 100 people in a lifetime. You don't even love 10. I believe the answer is closer to 1. If you meet somebody and fall in love, your desire, connection, attraction, and trust for them becomes greater than for any other person. Such a magical feeling is impossible to replicate. Everybody but your love seems to be an insignificant being. How then are you expected to feel so strongly about somebody else? I believe in soul mates. Once you find them, it's the end of the road. That is the one you love. Everybody else equates to settling.
We often hear, "all you need is love" and "love conquers all." Does it? Mostly. If you are truly in love, it will give you tremendous strength which is good because it requires tremendous strength to lay every fiber of your being on the line for somebody else. Love will NEVER fail you, but you may fail love, and you may fail the one you love. I said previously that love was stronger than almost every brain function. While in love you believe in it completely. So where can the failing come from? Simple: if you don't believe in yourself. Self doubt will make you question the validity of your own feelings and desires. This is why it is critical to use love as your guiding compass. Love is true, truer than anything else. If you are in love never let your mind doubt it. Never let anything wedge itself between love and your perception of reality. Love doesn't play those games and neither should you. Believe it.
What have we learned? Love is a gift. Love is strong. Love is precious. Love can be hard. Love can make us feel everything on the emotional spectrum. Love comes like a thief in the night.
I hope all of you have the chance to fall in love.
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