Always Something There to Remind Me

Time passes.  I can guarantee that one day I'll be dead.  Science says someday you (the reader) will be deceased as well.   It's inevitable; that's what it's important to embrace what we have now.  I've been thinking about the past a lot lately.  My life has been filled mostly with good times but, like everyone's life, ha seen its share of bad times.  Most people I've met have made a positive impact on my life.  With a few major exceptions (my 3rd grade teacher being one of them) I think I've had a positive impact on the lives of most people that I've met.  That makes me feel pretty darn good. 

I believe that we have three types of memories:  good memories, bad memories, and memories that were good  but are now so distant that they hurt us.  Everybody likes a good memory.  For me, one of my best memories was of the day I first soloed in an airplane.  I was 17 on that sunny day when my flight instructor got out of the airplane and told me, "why don't you take it around a few times."  Nothing will ever be able to taint that memory for me.  It was a triumph for me.  Good memories should be recalled often to remind us that life is good, we're good, and society is (mostly) good.  Even  if that's not exactly true, it doesn't hurt to approach things with a tinge of optimism.

Then there's the bad memories -- the things we want to suppress; the things we want to forget.  Everybody has them. On September 11, 2001 I was in 8th grade.  The teachers were instructed to play dumb to shield us, but word still got out.  It wasn't until I got home that I witnessed the carnage that had come upon our nation.  The sheer terror that penetrated my soul was one of the worst feelings I have ever endured.  There was a great uncertainty as to whether or not these attacks would continue.  It hurt all of us, so we were quick to forget.  American flags disappeared from our cars and we went back to our lives.  A year later it was, once again, uncool to be patriotic.  It's a shame.  We shouldn't forget the bad memories.  We need to understand them and control them.  Bad memories are part of us.  If we try to block them out they will consume us.  If we face them, they will make us better.  We will learn.

The third type of memory is the one that hurts us because we can no longer make the same types of memories.  We've all lost a loved one at some point.  You know that sinking feeling you get when you drive passed a restaurant that you and your loved one used to frequent?  Or how about that feeling when that movie that you used to watch together comes on TV?  Or even when you look through your photo album documenting your time together?  You realize that you can't ever get it back.  It's pretty much the worst feeling in the world because it is one that you have absolutely no control over.  There is no way of bringing them back.  For instance, every time I drive by Nifty Fifties I think of all the times my grandmother used to take me there.  They were happy outings -- filled with love and laughter.  But now when I see that place I feel sick.  I know I'll never again sit there with my grandmother.  "I hate that god forsaken place."  I think to myself.  Let me tell you something:  that is a STUPID way to act.  If you live that way, you're going to wind up avoiding more places than not because they remind you of the past.  They were good memories.  Go to those places and think about the good memories you had there.  Embrace your happy past!  Sure you won't make memories with the same person, but you can think of them!  You can make new memories too!  Never let a good memory be wasted because of your current situation.  Don't be one of those people who hides from constant reminders.  You can't ever avoid them, so you might as well embrace them.  The only thing that can come of it is that you'll have less of a weight on your shoulders.  

In short:  embrace the good, transform the bad, and try to recall your memories the way you did when you made them.  Don't let time and circumstance taint a good thing.  Live and love!