Love is a funny thing. It's said that life is one's quest for love...that is, of course, if you aren't busy lusting after scantily clad bartenders. I've spent a lot of time thinking about love. I find it very difficult to nail down its definition. When you are little, you love your parents. You love your teddy bear, your favorite Cabbage Patch Kid. A few years later, you begin a love affair with a sports team, which you may continue until you die as an old man.
In kindergarten, a boy may find himself in an "Our Gang" like He Man Woman Haters Club...cooties and all that jazz. The fear of women starts to get replaced by apathy when the boy is too busy trading hockey cards to even notice their existence. And then suddenly he sees something different in a girl (I'm not sure personally when this happened to me, although I can recall having a pretty big crush on Harriet the Spy). This, of course, is something that he keeps to himself for fear of being thought of as a weirdo by his classmates.
This kid gets into fifth grade and is now sitting far enough in the back of the bus to where he can the eighth graders discussing the wonderful world of sex. For the next two years, he constantly debates with his other 11 year old friends as to which one is the Christopher Columbus of sexual exploration...haha.
The kid gets his first girlfriend. They hold hands on the playground and share the occasional kiss on the cheek. Neither one is really comfortable with what is going on, but is Boy Meets World says that this is what life is all about...who is to argue? Things don't last, the girl breaks up with him for the kid with the goddam holographic Charizard or whatever the hell they were called. Tough "love" eh?
This petty dating continues on and on, and the relationships get more serious. Kids make the transition from the perils of Junior High to High School. At this point the kid will do his best to try to lose his virginity, so he can finally win the debate with his elementary school chums. This seems the general trend for the progression of man's interest in women.
At some point however, the boy gets hit in the face with a bag of bricks. He meets a girl and realizes that he can't possibly spend his life with anyone else. This isn't love like how you loved watching Beavis and Butthead. This is the love the you expect to be as nice as a bunch of doves and unicorns riding candy sleds along huge rainbows. For most people, it beats your being to a pulp and leaves you without sleep or motivation...you know, the whole first cut is the deepest thing.
I'm a believer that for every person, there is one soul mate. People throw the word love around. This has always bothered me. I think that people may think that they are in love because they are nervous that if they keep waiting, they will die before they find that special person. This is why people can fall in love, date for years, break up, get depressed, heal, and love again. However, if they found their "true love," I don't believe that they would have any desire to keep searching afterward. Each person gets one shot; if they fuck it up, they fuck it up. I sure as hell hope that things don't play out that way for me.
I guess that's what I think love is, in the romantic context anyway. I often wonder if lust is a separate issue from love, if it is a spur, or if it is a way to mask the numbness caused by a lack of requited love; but that discussion is for another time. All I know is that I really respect those who believe in love, find love, fight for it, and remain true to it. It takes a great deal of work, a great deal of pain, and a great deal of patience. Robert Frost said that "Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." I'm not sure I agree with him, but it flows a lot smoother than my concept.
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