Top 10 Comedy

All,

Here are what I think, right now, are the 10 funniest video bits out there. Enjoy.

1: David Letterman: Taco Bell



2: The Honeymooners: Golf Lessons



3: All in the Family: A Sock and a Sock



4: Charlie Chaplin: One AM





5: The Andy Griffith Show: Barney Drunk



6: Uncle Buck: Visiting Maisy's School



7: Chappelle's Show: Samuel Jackson Beer




8: Saturday Night Live: Garrett Morris and Lifer Follies




9: Slapshot: Eddie Shore and Old Time Hockey



10: Pink Panther: Does Your Dog Bite?

Fourteen times I've played the game;
proclaimed, and been ashamed.
Walking through frames of the daily flavor,
I've built a landscape without a foundation.
At night we bundle up and meet around the corner.
I hate what's around the corner;
let's just tear this building down.

Thumb Biter

Seventeen Twelve, Seventeen Twelve,
we bit our thumbs,
at each other,
at the world.

Friend, Stranger
Prison wars blasting,
you, me
tall, Short.

Vladimir in the basement,
The boxes, our targets.
Life in Palace,
Life stone drunk.

Lying back, Konstatine,
singing loud,
treadmill rolling,
back yard flowing.

I stopped suddenly amidst a million
people, bustling around me.
I stared through the dirty glass
to the sun above.
Quick double take, back to the track;
no train, no dream.

Half passed eight, I'm still there,
alone
Leaving requires an unprepared,
justification;
an acceptance of your lies.

I wait, and wait.
The chill from the concrete bench,
shoots through me. Uncomfortable.
Like the vagrants, I am forced to leave.
Leave on the pavement.

I fell in love with a barista
The kind with a beret on her head
and a very cold stare
but I didn't care.

I'm not sure
if it was the spell of the brew
or her flats and tight jeans
that blew my mind to smithereens.

My coffee wasn't free
but I didn't care
until she added some cream
and ended my dream.

I prefer my coffee black.

No title

Often times, I find myself in a position where I actually care about what somebody thinks about me. I, like every other person, likes to think that other peoples judgment does not affect me. Well, it does. The worst part of it all is that when I do find myself in this position, I do my best to make an ass of myself. I guess a self-sabotage mentality. I do not like this behavior, but have been unable to avoid it for as long as I can remember. It would be nice to step up to the plate and swing at the ball rather than trying miss. Stay tuned for tomorrow night's post on the subject of a zucchini nation.

Home Safety

I often hear sounds in my house at night. These sounds force me to stare at my ceiling instead of taking a nice snooze. Why you ask? Because it sounds like there is an intruder in my course, of course. While I have a fully functioning security system (thank you Slomins) in my house, i still feel uneasy. Why you ask...I'll tell you!



I believe that I could outsmart a security system!

Hours have been spent trying to come up with an unbeatable plan! I think I've found it.

Every night....before bed.....at every door and window.....place a bowl of.....pistachios.


I don't believe in nihilism. I believe that every person is brought to this world for a reason -- that reason...pistachios

If i see one, I must eat it; I believe that the same applies to you. And remember, pistachios are loud. Therefore, if you place pistachios at every entrance...a robber will be forced to eat them. The sound of cracking shell will wake you.....crisis avoided....thank me later world.

-GH